Hay.
Masarap tumitig sa kawalan kapag ikaw ay nasa gitna ng trabaho at nauurat ka na sa dami ng gagawin. Nakakatanggal ng bigat sa balikat, kahit papaano.
Habang nakatitig sa dako paroon, daglian siyang sumagi sa aking kamalayan.
Ang nag-iisang taong aking sinisinta.
Matagal-tagal na din akong di nakakagawa ng kanta para sa kanya. Marahil dahil para din akong kotse, nauubusan din ng gasolina. Parang baril na nauubusan ng bala. Sa kadahilanan din na ayoko maging paulit-ulit na lang ang tema ng mga nagagawa kong kanta. Baka bigla siyang magsawa.
Mahirap din mag-isip ng kung paano ko maipapahiwatig ang aking nadarama ng lubusan (at dahil sa paggawa lang ako ng kanta nakaangat.) Pero, sa gitna ng aking pag-aagam-agam, isang magandang ngiti mula sa kanya na di naman kalayuan ang pagitan namin ang pumukaw sa aking baluktot na papanaw ukol sa pag-ibig.
Madami na din ang dumaan at umalis sa aking buhay (pesteng yan.) at hindi pinalad na tumagal. Maari din na ako ang sanhi ng lahat ng iyon, subalit nang siya na ang dumaan sa king buhay, hindi niya ako nilagpasan bagkus ay tumigil siya sa aking piling. Binuhay niya ang aking natutulog na mundo, may sampung buwan na ang nakakalipas.
Masaya pa rin ako at humihinga pa ko, dahil madami pa akong mga balak kasama siya.
(dumugo ba ang ilong mo? ipagpumanhin mo ang aking matatas na pananagalog.)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Autobiography of a music lover
As what Souichi Negishi, the protagonist of Detroit Metal City said, "No Music, No Dream", it has been my tag line ever since I watched that film. Even though he didn't asked to be in part of a metal band (because he really wanted to play swedish pop-ish music) many people believe in him.
If you may ask what's the connection of Souichi with this blog? Well, simple. We're on the same page. I mean, he's pursuing a swedish-pop music but ended up in a metal trio that sold millions of copies (fictionally. hehehe.) while I was trying to create my own music but ended up, I think, on a wrong league.
I played my first musical instrument, a guitar, when I was in the fourth grade. I started to play for a band (an acoustic one, I think) back when I was freshman, as a guitarist-slash-singer (ish). I learn how to play drums, through the help of a friend of mine back in my sophomore high school. I had my first band in junior high school and had my first gig at my senior year. I even tried to go to a music school but I flunk on the last part of my practical exam. It was my first frustration as a musician. When I became a NEET (No Education, Employment or Training, that was two years after I graduated from high school), I joined a metal band but ended up soon because of musical differences. Not only that, my habits and attitude changed from good to worse. After the tragic fate of that band, I regroup my other band mates to play something that nowadays coined as "emo music." It was fun, though it changed again my point of view towards life, as somewhat music controls the emotion of a person. I became pessimistic, always ended up on a wrong, non-working relationship and I started to think ways on how to commit suicide, just like the lyrics of their songs.
I also become part of a professional band (that is, they have their record out in the market) as a guitarist because they were lacking up members and they were trying to create a new sound, I joined in. With that experience, I learned that the music industry in our country definitely, sucks.
Why? That's because we have a lot of good bands playing at the bars or anywhere where you can catch live gigs and stuff, but didn't have the chance to be famous or to be known. I mean, let's face it, if you don't have money, your song cannot be played on the radio. the funny thing about it is, it's always them. I mean the famous rock stars still famous. How about the new ones. Do they got the edge? How unfortunate is that. By that time I understand that it's not the talent that makes them famous, but money.
Okay now back to me, lately, I started to listen to easy-listening songs (e.g. John Mayer's, Chris Carraba's Dashboard Confessionals and the like) and it made me realize that this is the type of music that I want to be. And so I ended up trying to imitate them through my compositions, riffs and many more. Fusing all of those genre I had been in the past, it mold me to be a good artist.
Music, as how can I define it, influences a person like an alcohol does. It drenches one's mind and body. It changes the perception of a person who listens to it. It may be positive or negative, depending on how the melody plays.
Music has it's own life; it grows. It always does. It doesn't matter what kind of genre, but it evolves to something... different.
Now regarding Souichi's tag line and this rendezvous, this is what I can tell: I choose this because this is me. This is my identity. This is my dream. This is what I wanted to do. Though the systems are flawed, there's still hope like the other musician are thinking of and I'm one of them: like a hopeless romantic lover. Therefore, No music, No Dream.
If you may ask what's the connection of Souichi with this blog? Well, simple. We're on the same page. I mean, he's pursuing a swedish-pop music but ended up in a metal trio that sold millions of copies (fictionally. hehehe.) while I was trying to create my own music but ended up, I think, on a wrong league.
I played my first musical instrument, a guitar, when I was in the fourth grade. I started to play for a band (an acoustic one, I think) back when I was freshman, as a guitarist-slash-singer (ish). I learn how to play drums, through the help of a friend of mine back in my sophomore high school. I had my first band in junior high school and had my first gig at my senior year. I even tried to go to a music school but I flunk on the last part of my practical exam. It was my first frustration as a musician. When I became a NEET (No Education, Employment or Training, that was two years after I graduated from high school), I joined a metal band but ended up soon because of musical differences. Not only that, my habits and attitude changed from good to worse. After the tragic fate of that band, I regroup my other band mates to play something that nowadays coined as "emo music." It was fun, though it changed again my point of view towards life, as somewhat music controls the emotion of a person. I became pessimistic, always ended up on a wrong, non-working relationship and I started to think ways on how to commit suicide, just like the lyrics of their songs.
I also become part of a professional band (that is, they have their record out in the market) as a guitarist because they were lacking up members and they were trying to create a new sound, I joined in. With that experience, I learned that the music industry in our country definitely, sucks.
Why? That's because we have a lot of good bands playing at the bars or anywhere where you can catch live gigs and stuff, but didn't have the chance to be famous or to be known. I mean, let's face it, if you don't have money, your song cannot be played on the radio. the funny thing about it is, it's always them. I mean the famous rock stars still famous. How about the new ones. Do they got the edge? How unfortunate is that. By that time I understand that it's not the talent that makes them famous, but money.
Okay now back to me, lately, I started to listen to easy-listening songs (e.g. John Mayer's, Chris Carraba's Dashboard Confessionals and the like) and it made me realize that this is the type of music that I want to be. And so I ended up trying to imitate them through my compositions, riffs and many more. Fusing all of those genre I had been in the past, it mold me to be a good artist.
Music, as how can I define it, influences a person like an alcohol does. It drenches one's mind and body. It changes the perception of a person who listens to it. It may be positive or negative, depending on how the melody plays.
Music has it's own life; it grows. It always does. It doesn't matter what kind of genre, but it evolves to something... different.
Now regarding Souichi's tag line and this rendezvous, this is what I can tell: I choose this because this is me. This is my identity. This is my dream. This is what I wanted to do. Though the systems are flawed, there's still hope like the other musician are thinking of and I'm one of them: like a hopeless romantic lover. Therefore, No music, No Dream.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
My Rants, Your Best Ideas Reserved. (pt.1)
I'm listening to Jesus of Suburbia by Greenday while I'm writing this one, thinking that it might give me a better idea on how to create a blog. Hehe, lame kid.
I like this thing on the first part of the song that goes:
"To fall in love and fall in debt; To alcohol and cigarettes and maryjane, to keep me insane; I see someone uses cocaine."
Well you know, I just miss the fun times. Good times buddy, good times.
Haha! Rebellious.
(Just so you know that I just smoke cigarettes and drink booze. No drugs please. XD)
I never had the finkest of idea that I still have this account, I thought this one's dead because I haven't opened nor checked this in ages. I think it's about time to write something.
(Here goes nothing...)
In the past couple of months working (I work for a medical transcription company somewhere in Makati City as a Virtual Assistant) and I feel that something's missing. Well I don't know exactly on how to express that but maybe I'm just losing my gist on every single thing. Frustrated? Yes. Hopeless? Well, sorta.
Half the time I was working, trying to indulge myself on what am I suppose to do, but on the losing side, I think I'm just playing around. Whining. Exhausting myself on not so important things. Maybe they just think that I'm just fooling around.
I researched about this "Inferiority Complex" just a while ago, seems that it fits to my personality. Maybe I was just inflicted by this "disorder" thingy. Not getting what I want, or maybe what I deserve. Or perhaps, those "things" that I deserve doesn't serve me right.
Many people have goals. I do have. I guess a lot. But all of those goals seems to become absurd.
Irrational.
Complicated.
Or rather, cynic.
(To be continued...)
I like this thing on the first part of the song that goes:
"To fall in love and fall in debt; To alcohol and cigarettes and maryjane, to keep me insane; I see someone uses cocaine."
Well you know, I just miss the fun times. Good times buddy, good times.
Haha! Rebellious.
(Just so you know that I just smoke cigarettes and drink booze. No drugs please. XD)
I never had the finkest of idea that I still have this account, I thought this one's dead because I haven't opened nor checked this in ages. I think it's about time to write something.
(Here goes nothing...)
In the past couple of months working (I work for a medical transcription company somewhere in Makati City as a Virtual Assistant) and I feel that something's missing. Well I don't know exactly on how to express that but maybe I'm just losing my gist on every single thing. Frustrated? Yes. Hopeless? Well, sorta.
Half the time I was working, trying to indulge myself on what am I suppose to do, but on the losing side, I think I'm just playing around. Whining. Exhausting myself on not so important things. Maybe they just think that I'm just fooling around.
I researched about this "Inferiority Complex" just a while ago, seems that it fits to my personality. Maybe I was just inflicted by this "disorder" thingy. Not getting what I want, or maybe what I deserve. Or perhaps, those "things" that I deserve doesn't serve me right.
Many people have goals. I do have. I guess a lot. But all of those goals seems to become absurd.
Irrational.
Complicated.
Or rather, cynic.
(To be continued...)
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